WWFD?

Another patient decides to bring a child to her session. This is a grandmother and the child is 7 years old. She really wants me to meet this kid because, she explains with pride, he is her favorite grandson and she loves him more than she does his sister. And with that, the introductions are done.

He's a cute chubby kid in a blue Yankees shirt and purple crocs. On his grandmother's insistence he kisses me hello on the cheek, then sits down next to her, looks around the room and before I have a chance to offer him paper and crayons to draw, yells 'I love predators!'.

What am I supposed to say to that? What kind of predators, exactly? I make a non-committal sound that he appears to take as a sign of encouragement, and proceeds to list his favorite predators. To my relief, he means animals. To my dismay, the list is long. He moves from birds to fish to mammals, from extinct to fantasy to myth. That would be the Lockness Monster. Apparently, it is also a predator. And lives in Scotland. This leads him to the topics of pipe-playing and men wearing 'skirts'. The kid free-associates beautifully.

Meanwhile grandma, who is not very fluent in English, watches him adoringly and winks at me as if to say 'isn't he wonderful'. In fact, she does say it. She recognizes random animal names but reallly has no idea what he is talking about, and to be honest, neither do I.

Grandma makes an effort to provide some context: 'He likes that show with Mindy'. Only she says 'Ee likes dat chow'.

The kid stops his list long enough to say 'Who's Mindy?'

'Dat girl wid de chow wid all dee animals'

'That's Bindi, and I don't like her.'

Grandma says that Mindy is very cute. He rolls his eyes and moves on to different species of lizards and giant iguanas. We only have 35 minutes left and there are plenty of predators still unmentioned.

Grandma doesn't mind. 'I feel much less depressed now that he's staying with me', she whispers so as not to interrupt the child's list of snakes. 'He makes me so happy'.

'I like rattle-snakes!' says the kid.

Soon I will have to put a stop to this latest wave of kids joining my patients for their sessions. I know I have to. But my patient was so happy to show off her grandson....and he clearly needed someone to list his predators to.

What Would Freud Do?

He'd probably turn on the TV and watch Bindi.